THE “HEART” OF THE “MATTER

What if the person you swear you love became lovable partly because something unresolved inside you could use them? That possibility cuts deeper than codependence, compatibility, attachment style, or the familiar claim that wounded people choose wounded partners. The question reaches into the construction of love itself. Perhaps the abandoned part of you found someone willing to chase. The unseen part found an admirer. The frightened part found a protector. The financially insecure part found a provider. The self-doubting part found someone willing to believe enough for two people. The emotionally neglected part found someone with the capacity to absorb pressure you had never learned to hold. And somewhere inside all of that relief, you said: I love you. But what if part of what you loved was their usefulness to what remained unhealed?