WHO IS ZO WILLIAMS, AND WHY DOES HIS VOICE MATTER NOW?

I look at the relationship-content world and I see something that should make all of us a little uncomfortable. We have never had this many people telling us how to love. Men are being taught what women want. Women are being taught what men fear. We have experts on standards, boundaries, red flags, attachment, masculine leadership, feminine energy, high-value behavior, healing, marriage, submission, narcissism, emotional intelligence, biblical order, self-worth and compatibility. So why are we still this confused about one another? That question bothers me. Because I suspect the problem may reach deeper than bad advice. Every piece of relationship advice carries an invisible philosophy inside it. Somebody has already decided what love means. Somebody has already defined a successful relationship. Somebody has already determined what makes a man valuable, what makes a woman desirable, what healing should produce, what marriage proves, what leadership looks like and what a healthy person should want. I want to know who gave those definitions permission to become truth. Kevin Samuels could make you confront your position in the romantic marketplace. Tony Gaskins can challenge your standards and choices. Stephan Speaks can ask whether unresolved pain keeps interfering with the love you say you want. Dr. Cheyenne Bryant can confront emotional functioning and accountability. Dr. Thema Bryant can bring trauma, culture, authenticity and liberation into the conversation. Iyanla can walk you toward the spiritual root. R.C. Blakes can bring your identity before God into the room. Those are serious contributions. My question usually starts acting up after the answer arrives. Tell me to choose better and I want to investigate the chooser. Tell me to know my worth and I want to know whose currency we are using. Tell a man he needs to lead and I want leadership to show me its identification. Who taught you what leading means? Is it service? Control? Responsibility? Fear wearing authority’s clothes? Tell a woman to raise her standards and I want to know what built them. Wisdom? Pain? Humiliation? Discernment? Social comparison? Fear of ever being embarrassed again? Tell me somebody is toxic and maybe they are. I still want to know what happened inside you when you met them, what made their behavior recognizable, what kept you there, what made leaving difficult and what meaning you attached to the entire experience.